We have all heard it so many times “the single Mum” card being thrown around. How many actually sat down and really thought about the power a single Mum has?
I remember when I was a child, I could not wait for the school holidays. A whole 6 weeks off from school! To play, to sleep in and to not wear my uniform. Never once the thought crossed my mind, that I will not be able to do or go somewhere. Growing up was a breeze.
Now on the other end of the road as a parent, I see things much differently. You see as a parent you want to make sure your children are happy and have a happy memorable childhood. There is only so much one person can do. There is only so far one wage can stretch and there is only one place you can be at one time.
In theory co-parenting should be a easy compromise and agreement between two adults. For the benefit of their children. Then why is that a mother is left to pick up everything while the farther has all the time and no care In the world to go out and party when they want, fly out on holidays when they want and step out in designers as they want!
6 weeks! That’s 42 day, which is 1008 hours until The kids go back to school, until I would get few hours to myself.
6 weeks! Or 42 day, or 1008 hours! I would need to think of entering, feeding and caring among other things.
I know it may sound like a burden AND THEY ARE NOT. You see single mums have a secret power which men do not see. For the love of our children we will find a way, we are ready to put our life and happiness on hold for theirs and do not rub it in their face or complain. We just do it......and do it with a smile.
It’s petty and sad when co-parenting doesn’t work out. I honestly think if that’s the way some of these men like to be (pick and choose) then simply do not be in that child’s life! What are they actually bringing to the table? A child being able to say “yes I have a dad” Is simply just not good enough.
We live in a world now it is possible for women to go out and work. Culture and society have come a long way that we do not need to depend on men to be the bread earner.
One of the main obstacles is your own mind. I find that if I sit around and think about how much of a waste of time the other person is, then that is my valuable time which I will not get back. A “farther” who has not realised their responsibility on their own, can not be helped to realise that.
Do not expect the expectations. That way you will not be disappointed. Believe me from my own experience, when he sees you doing well and not having to contact him for help, they end up drowning them self in jealousy even more.
Children will see that “Mum” did everything and “Dad” was nowhere to be seen. What children want is TIME with you. I found many free things to do around my city which I can enjoy with the kids. Even though to be honest I would much rather be at home sleeping.
I kept on reminding myself “TIME”. We become the expert in collecting vouchers and finding hot deals. Meeting up with other parents is a wonderful idea as it gives me the adult conversation time but the children also get to meet new friend and have their fun times.
Bottom line is if you see the unwanted drama coming your way, simply turn and cross the road :). Do not expect the expectations and plan as if it’s just you.