Becoming a mum is a blessing from Allah, A stage of life which completes a women’s purpose. The first promise you make is “I will never let anything bad happen to you”.
I became a single mum 4 weeks after having a C-section. Not only I had to figure out how I am going to move around after just being cut but also look after a baby and his older brother who was 6. No job, no savings, no car and the nearest family to me were 60 miles away.
Despite trying to make sense of my personal emotions of becoming a newly divorced women, I had a much more important issue to deal with. Two in fact.
Establishing a routine helped me to bury the battle of emotions I had going on in my head 24/7. You see when you have children, your emotions don’t exist.
I started off small, when does the baby need feeding, do I have nappy’s, are the school uniform ready, Are the meals prepped for the day, Is the laundry done?.
I found myself consumed in general household duties keeping myself busy and never really had any time for myself. There were times when I had gone days without even brushing my hair or changing my clothes. But what about the future?
Knowing it would be extremely hard, I decided to go back to work. Leaving my baby who was 3 months and still being breastfed in a nursery. Someone had to earn the money and put food on the table. I started to put some money away even if it was couple of pounds here and there. We were existing but not living.
You hear all sorts about single mums and how terrible and sad it is. But to be honest 6 months after my divorce my life actually got better. It wasn’t easy but now 4 years later when I look back I can see and be proud of all the things I have achieved as a single mother. Graduated, promoted, and bought a car, new home, no debts, new friends, and holidays and so on. A small step for mankind but a big leap for a single mother.
The thing to remember is when you are going through hard times it would feel like a lifetime. Think logically before emotionally to overcome them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, it doesn’t make you weak. But most important of them all is to dream, dream big for yourself and your children every night. And use those dreams to fuel you to run towards your goals.
If that is not enough for you then remember Prophet Isa (as), Prophet Mohammed (saw) and Imam Bukhari who were all raised by single mothers who dedicated their lives and we are part of this illustrious sisterhood of amazing single mothers who raised exceptional progeny.
After all I made a promise “I will never let anything bad happen to them”.